I arose this morning a mostly functional and at least marginally sane human being. Tonight I retire a blogger. It's scarier than I thought. For starters there's all that pressure to be funny. Because if you're not funny, you're just adding to the delusional hordes of bloggers (and cloggers, may I add) out there who think anyone actually reads the silent tirades they unleash upon an unsuspecting void. Poor void. And secondly, there's... ... ... well, so there's not as much as I thought.
Already I've learned an important thing or two about this strange new world. Like for starters, you have to be named something completely irrational like Chegoby129835Chicago if you want to get a blog with your name on it. Normal names like 'Emily' just don't cut it in this hi tech world. They're too trendy, and so last milennium. Also, I think you have to have internet friends. Which I don't. Except when Jennie, who is really an old roommate, pretends to be my internet friend. I make fun of people who have internet friends, but now I secretly wish I had some because then my blog would be more popular than other people's blogs and I could base my self worth on virtual traffic to a document that doesn't exist, which really seems like a winning plan if you ask me.
And also you can't really have secret wishes on a blog.
