Evie Says the Darndest Things

Things she has said to me today:
Speaking of Cinderella, "Aw man! I let her get married once and everything was ruined!"
Responding to Chet saying he knows his A-B-Sixes, "Ain't no thang!"
When asked to hold her new baby brother David, "I dare you to do it instead."
When we finally got out of our traffic jam on the 215 tonight "Hot dang!  Time to drive fancy!"
From the depths of her imagination "Hey Em?  Why did God make the world?" Me: "Because he wanted a beautiful place for us to come and live." Her: "So what you're saying is, He forgot about Mars?"
When she walked into an occupied bathroom stall at the hospital today, "Hi!  I'm Evie.  This is my princess backpack.  I have another backpack at my house.  Do you want to see it?  My aunt is also in this bathroom.  Do you want to meet her?"  Random stranger who is sitting in that stall sans trousers: *blank stare of confusion*
And finally, "When David lived in my mom's tummy, he only liked to move when her legs were still.  That means he's nocturnal.  Is he nocturnal because he was a dinosaur?"

Also, this feels like the appropriate time to mention that Chet licked the floor of a Chick-Fil-A today.  It's probably best for these kids that I'm not in charge that often.

Looks Like the Students Found Me

Apparently I'll be teaching courses in Remedial Toilet Papering next semester, because they seriously need one.  I worry for a generation that can't even pull basic pranks properly...