Kissing this Town Goodbye

... Except without the kissing part. I gave a smidgen of thought to an appropriate farewell for this one of a kind place that has grudgingly housed me for the last ten months. I contemplated How do I loathe thee? A farewell to Ely, but that sounded too bitter and the form was pretty strict. Turns out sonnets, even sarcastic ones, are still out of my reach. Instead I give you the second failed attempt: poetry almost as low class and dim-witted as the adults who inspire it.

A lyrical adieu to the Silver State

Farewell to jackets Confederate and straight
Farewell to terrorists and the local KKK
Farewell to creeps, both the young and the old
Farewell to fridges all covered in mold
Farewell to students who wet in their desks
Farewell to mutant biological pests
Farewell to Voldemort and his shiny bald head
Farewell to the lamp that won’t light above my bed
Farewell to the secretary who ne’er learnt my name
Farewell to the German class panties of fame
Farewell to sandwiches crafted for ‘Hon’
Farewell to children who ask me for rum
Farewell to the irony I call Escape
Farewell to dressing like Severus Snape
I’m packing the car, I’m defying the odds
By deliberately getting the heck out of dodge