If I worked in HR

I've learned a few things from this process of trying to get a good teaching position in a bad economy, and most of them are what I would do if I worked in Human Resources (which, you never know, I might if this whole teaching job search thing doesn't get a whole lot more successful in a hurry). It's not that I think the HR people somehow aren't doing their best or don't have stressful jobs of their own, I'd just like to offer a few helpful suggestions from this side of the hiring process in case they haven't been here in awhile:

1. A little communication goes a long way! A simple form email that acknowledges the receipt of a completed application and supporting documentation makes candidates want to work for you 10 times more than for a district that didn't send one. Something simple like"Thanks for applying to our district! You can expect to hear from us in the next 2-3 weeks to schedule a screening interview," confirms that a. I actually sent all that stuff to the right place, and b. no wind, rain, sleet, snow, aliens, Dobermans, madmen with axes, or evil Russian cyber-henchmen prevented it from getting there. My application is actually being considered, and my "what if it didn't get there?!?!?!" anxieties hand their pom-poms and bullhorns over to their buddies "what if I don't look good on paper?!?" and "I bet 4,000 history teachers applied."

2. Even the unpleasant communication still goes a long way! Remember the cranky cook in Mary Poppins who sticks her head out the door after Ms. Poppins's "interview" with Mr. Banks to nasally declare that "the position 'as been fiwwed?" These days I like her more and more! There's a lot of uncertainty in the job hunting process, and I am determined that there is no worse feeling for a hopeful young applicant than leaving an interview knowing that you nailed it followed by several weeks of radio silence.* I am losing track of the number of times that's happened to me. The nagging frustration of not knowing where you stand joins forces with your inner pessimist to defeat the fledgling armies of hope, and pretty soon you find yourself sitting in bed at 5 pm wondering aloud to Ben and Jerry where your life went wrong. For all I know, I did ace the interview and the delay is just a side-effect of the bureaucratic nature of education, but it never feels like that. Districts don't send out mass emails announcing that someone else was hired because they want to have the option of hiring you if another teacher suddenly quits 2 weeks before school starts; I'm just not sure they realize that this also has the added benefit of driving most of the candidates certifiably crazy so the pool is pre-narrowed come August.

With all of that said, I do call and email the HR people to confirm that my application arrived, to check on the next step in the hiring process, etc., but even then, no one has the guts talk to you straight like the cranky cook.

*Watch, now that I said that, I'm going to start leaving every interview knowing I botched it and have to report that that feeling is, in fact, much, much worse. Let's hope not.